Whoa, I guess it's been awhile. The new episode in my life, as far as weight loss goes, is exercise. I decided I was not pushing myself enough. I needed to do something I didn't think I could. So I started the Couch to 5k running program. You're supposed to start with one minute intervals of running and walking. I started with 20 seconds running, 1:40 walking. I felt like there was no way I'd ever run 5k. Now I'm running 5 minutes in a row and I'm starting to believe I am going to be able to run that 5k. And because it's been so gradual, it hasn't bothered my knees or feet or anything.

Then, because I felt the effects of heart-pumping exercise on my ADD and depression symptoms, I started doing 30 minutes on the elliptical every other day when I'm not running/walking. This works better than medication. But the key, I think, is the pushing. I need to get my heart rate up so I'm really sweating. Do that for 20-30 minutes and I get the same adrenaline and endorphin rush that the drugs are supposed to deliver. That will carry me for 8-10 hours.

It's the first time in my "trying to lose weight" career that I've exercised for a reason other than weight loss. I am definitely hoping for weight loss results, but the thing that keeps me going every day is that it makes my day better. It's like taking a "have a great day!" pill in the morning. And when I start to get used to the feeling and forget that it is because of the exercise that I feel good I think of the health problems that I have and the ones that are waiting for me in the future and see myself climbing out of a pit of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, cancer, mental illness, dementia and just plain immobility with each step I take.